Ghostbusters Fans around the world are realising the 2016 reboot was only a dreadful piece of colourful cack and not a suicide-inducing nostalgia-crushing waste of human effort they all expected it to be.

Life-long fan, Pete Jenkins from Oldham, said: “I’ve been waiting my whole life for a third Ghostbusters film but when I heard it was a remake and not a sequel I wanted to slash my wrists.

‘But thankfully I think I can get away with just a light eye-ball gouging, because all in all, it was only a god-awful, unfunny piece of turd.’

Samantha Barnet from Aldershot agreed: ‘The first twenty minutes are poor, but after that it quickly got nauseating. I appreciate that tonight I’m not going to have to set fire to the kids. Instead I’ll just pity them for having to grow up in an age where films like this are supposed to be comedy, and characters like Kate McKinnon’s “Jillian Holtzman” are seen as funny, and not irritating stick figures that make want to tear my own face off and sign up for ISIS.’

Film-critic Susan Smithe-Mogg lambasted those who had criticised the film unfairly. ‘Let’s be honest, they haven’t made a decent comedy since the 1980s anyway, so why did anyone expect that this one was going to anything but pathetic. But I stand by my earlier statement that all fan-boys are misogynistic racists, and that this new film is a breath of fresh air compared to the original.

‘In that one, the black character met only a few subtle stereotypes. In this one Leslie Jones gets to barge her way back through 100 years of black cinematic history as the sassy street-wise one.

‘And who doesn’t want to see 40-odd year old Kristen Wiig fawning all girly-like over a good looking dumb boy?

‘And I’m not just saying that because the studio paid me. Even though they did.

‘Now that’s feminism!’