Everybody at the party last night in Romford was deeply interested in Hellboy’s back story and definitely wanted to hear more about it, sources say.
The captivating session began around 9pm when polite conversation strayed away from holidays and into movies people had seen recently. That’s when one individual took it upon himself to explain the minutiae of Comic Book folklore to the gathered strangers, including the changing shade of Superman’s underpants and the REAL motivation behind the minor characters, like Cyborg or something.
Sarah, 22, was enthralled, ‘I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was everything I never knew that I wanted to know. It made the guy telling it extremely sexy and not the least bit of a boring tosspot.’
Fellow party goer, Rick, 30, agreed. ‘Usually I just go to the cinema to watch something bright and colourful. You know, a couple hours of distraction. But what a fool I’ve been! Now I can go there safe in the knowledge that Wolverine’s shoe size is 11 and not 12 like the movie studios would have you believe.’
‘I sat there for ages holding my empty glass, just entranced by the tale of Deadpool’s first fourth-wall break and ignoring the fact that on the other side of the room people were dancing. It was mythical really. My cheeks were hurting by the end of it but the smiles were all genuine.’
Wise seer, Andy, admitted that he had got a bit carried away by the conversation. ‘I could see a few people just scratching their heads as their minds were blown by my knowledge. I’ve spent literally thousands of days just reading up on the DC and Marvel universes and it’s been tough. I’ve often questioned whether its been just a massive waste of my life.’
‘But its time’s like these that I know it’s all been worth it. Seeing Andrea’s eyes tearing up as she tries to supress a yawn makes me realise just how vast my brain actually is. And I caught poor Rick just staring out of the window at one point – lost in the wonder of my description of the Quantum Realm.’
‘It’s hard. I actually don’t like talking about comic books but I feel obliged to spread my knowledge. It’s a burden, like being the only doctor on a plane. I wear my responsibility heavily, but proudly.’
‘I’m a storyteller really, a modern-day Shakespeare. Except Shakespeare only wrote like ten books or something and wouldn’t have a clue what Lex Luthor’s pet dog’s middle name was.’
‘It was Randy.’